The sad thing is that it seems just like the kind of dark joke that The Onion would normally write. There’s the perfect set up and punch line. The only problem is that the punch line wasn’t created by The Onion‘s writing staff. It was forced on them by a mad man at the Empire State Building.

You see, yesterday, the satirical paper wrote a article jokingly celebrating the lack of “deadly shootings” in the nation in recent days. Today, they had to put at update.