Oh, what a quandary for the Republican Party.

First, Rep. Todd Akin perfectly articulates what they all believe: that there's rape-rape and then there's not-really-rape (sometimes known as "legitimate rape" or "forcible rape" or "REALLY rape"). And, since bitches be lying, most incidents of rape aren't really rape. And also, ladyparts are magic and can deploy rape sperm deflector shields to "shut that whole thing down" to prevent pregnancy.

This is what the Republican Party believes. This is how the Republican Party has consistently voted. It's the position of the two people on the presidential ticket. But gosh, it sure is embarrassing to have the party's callousness and stupidity exposed for all to see and mock.

And Republicans really don't know what the hell to do about it:

The National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) on Tuesday released a list of conservative columnists and pundits around the country who are calling for Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.) to step down from his Missouri Senate bid. [...]

Radio host Sean Hannity, syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer, and author Ann Coulter are among the prominent voices who have called for Akin to leave the race.