Change has come to the Catholic Church. After centuries of accusing women who disagree with them of witchcraft, they've abandoned their antiquated ways and embraced a more modern way of thinking — accusing women who disagree with them of "radical feminism." And you say the Church isn't progressive!

TIME's Tim Padgett has a great take on how the modern Catholic Church has doubled down on fighting the forces of progressive women in a last-ditch effort to preserve its waning power, and argues that these efforts will ultimately end up expediting the Vatican's global irrelevance. Case(s) in point(s): declaring the ordination of female priests a "grave sin" on par with pedophilia in 2010 (so I guess that means that the Church will exert great effort to shelter people who do it from any sort of punishment?), launching a bizarre inquisition into the "radical feminist agenda" of American nuns, accusing the Girl Scouts of preaching "feminist theology," and very publicly, very loudly fighting the Obama administration's Preventative Care Mandate that would have required that most religious employers give female employees the option of using their insurance to purchase birth control. Their latest anti-lady tirade was against Yale professor emeritus Sister Margaret Farley's book Just Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics, which condones female masturbation, same-sex relationships, and non-procreative sex.